I'm writing this at midnight on Sunday.

Here's my 57th birthday story.

In 2002, both of my parents forgot my birthday. Not late. Forgot. So the next year I threw myself the most epic birthday bash in the history of ever - karaoke, cake, purple koozies that said "Deb's Bodacious Birthday Bash," the whole production. It was genuinely spectacular.

I may have accidentally set an impossible bar for every birthday that followed.

This year? Not so much. Thursday and Friday went somewhere dark. Not just a little dark - the kind of dark I know from before, the partial hospitalization, the depression and anxiety and the rest of it. I've gotten good at recognizing the spiral. Turns out recognizing it and not panicking about recognizing it are two very different skills. I was not great at the second one.

What pulled me out: my friend Linda's poem. An epic podcast with my bestie Nicole. Smidge being ridiculously, annoyingly adorable. And pudding - specifically his current obsession with chocolate, butterscotch, and banana, which is genuinely just a whipped cream delivery system and I respect the commitment.

Also Kylie, who spent three attempts this week perfecting the slide across my keyboard to reach her bed behind the monitor. By attempt three - no keys hit, no claws, full ten. She stuck the landing. I snort-laughed for the first time in two days.

Saturday the light came back. Sunday I showed up - squashed a two-hour bug on theunexaminedmind.com that turned out to live in Beehiiv, which made the whole Claude Code/GitHub/Lovable excavation extra special. Finished two of the ten prompt kits I'm building. Built a freebie in Lovable. Wrote this.

Not because I had it together.

Because that's what I do.

Here's what I keep forgetting: my feelings are real. They deserve to be felt. But they are not facts.

When the sales aren't coming and the bank account is just sitting there judging me, my brain skips right past "this is hard" and lands on "you are not a worthwhile human." Like my value as a person is a line item on a profit and loss statement.

The frustration is real. The disappointment is real. The fear is real. But "no sales yet" does not mean "no worth ever." My brain made that leap. I don't have to follow it.

Feeling it is the work. Believing every story your brain stitches onto it is not.

I don’t remember much of this past week (the gift and curse of having ADHD) but here are some links to things that touched, moved, inspired me, or simply made me laugh entirely too hard.

Nicole said the thing. THE thing.

Episode 5 of Rails Optional just dropped on Substack and my co-host Dr. Nicole delivered what I'm now calling the corporate litmus test: If your C-suite can rattle off lifetime customer value but can't tell you the value you deliver TO a customer, that tells me everything I need to know about your company. I made her say it twice. You'll want to hear it twice too.

Feral woman energy, parking lot edition

I completely admire this woman's commitment to not moving from her parking spot just because some dude in a truck decided to be aggressive about it. If you have ever felt obligated to move faster or get out of the way for a man, you will love this. Her level of unbothered is aspirational.

Things girls shouldn’t have to do, explained by raccoons

One of my favorite TikTok accounts and this one did not disappoint. I was both delighted and vindicated to see my own personal mantra show up: if it has more than 4 legs, I am a huge NOPE.

Partner of the week

Turns out newsletters don't pay for themselves. Who knew?

This week's partner helps keep the lights on (and is genuinely a newsletter I’ve subscribed to for over a year):

Be the smartest person in the room. 1440 navigates 100+ sources to deliver a comprehensive, unbiased news roundup — politics, business, culture, and more — in a quick, 5-minute read. Completely free, completely factual.

Sign up now!

You know that moment when you open AI and your brain is so full of half-thoughts and frustration and things you can't even name yet that you just... stare at the cursor?

This is for that moment.

Bring Me Your Mess is a tool I built in Lovable. You don't have to know what you need. You don't have to have the right words. You show up messy, it meets you there, and something useful comes out the other side.

This one's different. No Role. No Objective. No Context. No Output. Just one sentence and a chatbot that already knows you.

Fair warning: this one bites.

I ran this in both ChatGPT and Claude this week and was aghast at how accurate it was. If you're not ready for a mirror that sees every line, wrinkle, and existential undercurrent of your life, skip this one and come back when you are. No shame in that.

But if you're feeling brave, open the chatbot you use most often (the one with your history in it) and paste this:

A fresh conversation won't have anything to work with. The longer your history, the sharper the mirror.

Maybe have a cup of tea ready. You might need it.

Friday, April 3rd | 10AM CDT - 30 Minutes
Friday Jam Session with Joy Prompt Club. 30 minutes. No agenda. Just prompts, play, and people who get it. Open to anyone who wants to join in and has questions or a problem they’re trying to solve.

I've been building a set of 10 copy-paste-ready prompt kits for the stuff you actually need help with. They work with ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, or Copilot. No tech skills required.

Here's the lineup:

Here's a sneak peek at one that's already done:

If one of those names made you go "oh, I need THAT one" - hit reply and tell me which one. It helps me know what to finish first.

Anxiety to Authority - 12 weeks, 10 senior leaders max, Tuesdays starting April 7. Me and Tiffany Flaming. $2,997. Not for everyone. Maybe for someone you know.

The Executive AI Edge - 90 minutes with me and Kate Sargent. $449. For the executive in your life who's nodding along in AI meetings and understanding none of it.

Joy Prompt Club - My favorite little virtual place in all the interwebz.

This week was a hot mess. I debugged a website, negotiated with a cat, and had to sit myself down and remember that not making money yet does not mean I'm not worth anything.

Your version of that might look different. But if your brain spent any part of this week taking a real feeling and turning it into a life sentence about who you are - yeah. Mine too.

The feelings are real. The story they're selling you might not be.

💜

Take care of yourself, take care of each other,

Deb

P.S. If someone in your life is drowning in AI overwhelm and too proud to ask for help - forward this to them. The freebie is free, no opt-in required, and nothing in it will make them feel behind. That's the whole point.

P.P.S. Hit reply and tell me which prompt kit name made you twitch. I'm building these in real time and your answer decides what ships next.